going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
I am tired of kissing girls with mustaches.
when does it stop being whiskey dick and start just being me bad in bed?
I can't really talk right now. I'm getting on a plane to Oregon to go give a guy a bj. I'll see you in three days.
You should've come out last night, I need someone to explain why the bartender tried to strangle me...
Scored tix to flower show. Do we want to go drunk on Saturday or hungover on Sunday? Only two options.
Ugh. my cast still smells like fermenting hot tub water and bad decisions.
Thank god Shes going home for winter break, gives my dick a chance to recover from those "bjs." Youd think a senior could suck a dick by now.
All I could think when I saw it was, "All right, Vagina, only one of us is getting out of this alive."
He bought segways. We ride them when we get drunk. Last night he ran through the sliding glass door.
your keys are upstairs on the nightstand or I put them in the hole in the wall
How are you supposed to wish the guy you send nudes to good luck for the first day of his new job??
God I miss you. I would very much like to have sexual intercourse with you. I'm home eating chicken alfredo.
For full disclosure: I told my roommates last night that you have a very clean asshole.
Is it sad that I just pissed sitting down so I didn't have to stop eating doritos?
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