so i realized that everyone figured out i was a slut before i did. then i realized that no one felt like telling me. sometimes i think you just keep me around for entertainment.
you're right.
Tonight i am praying for god to turn my pussy into apple pie because i cant count the number of times bruce chooses food over sex.
Best moment of my life. I just got a text from some random number that said i can't wait to touch you. Her name is kiara and she had the wrong number.
So I ate yogurt with the back of my toothbrush. I feel like I've officially been initiated into college.
Is it bad that when I see babies I feel bad for them because its going to be forever until they are 21?
he changed my name in his contacts to "rick", so his mom wouldn't know he was texting me
For the record, saying you're friends with the owner doesn't work when the owner is the one throwing you out.
When you put it that way it sounds like my vagina is a parking garage to be monitored by security guards
Just rinsed and put my styrofoam cup of noodles in the dishwasher. I need to be not hungover ASAP
I'm trying to poop and took acid, this is going to end horrid or wonderful. Oh the amusement park, not the pooping.
he woke me up with all the stuff I had at his house in boxes i had to unwrap my own belongings and he said. Happy v-day its time to see ya day! Worst day ever
I woke up with my earring stuck inbetween my tits. Somehow you fucked my earring out and my boobs saved it. I'm pretty impressed with both of us right now.
He was like low grade Riff Raff, but I hit it. Twice. His grill popped out the second time.
Oh goddamn. That a super downer Tuesday reality right there. Just hit me with the cold, hard, nasty facts.
I just put together something from IKEA so that’s mandatory oral for a week.
Randomize
