I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
I think "bars open christmas minneapolis" is the saddest google search i've ever done.
in the event i get tipsy, my nipples are your responsibility
Hahhaha I literally just rolled outta bed and went to get beer in my pj's and slippers. God I love graduating
he just asked me for a tag team. like at least let me get changed out of your roommates clothes from last night first...
I think 2012 will be the year I purposely put myself in awkward situations. Much like 2011 but really trying this time. Like fucking the little sister of a girl I already fucked and dating a chick that lives with her ex. It could be awesome or horrible.
The last thing I remember is feeding country fried steak to my best friend in a bubble bath with my bare hands.
This wedding is gonna be a disaster. I already had to turn down one of the groomsmen who offered me $100 to sleep with him next wknd.
Too low?
Yes.
I can't wait til I'm a real grown up and am no longer expected to take 7 shots of raspberry ruby as a pregame to a night of drinking natty lite
I would love a rich wife. Then I would be like a gym teacher or some shit. Bigfoot hunter maybe.
No it's only my right leg that feels like it's about to fall off. The left is fine.
It's funny to me the only time that you clean up is when your weed delivery man is on the way.
Lets just say I tried to pinky promise the cop... So I was fucked up.
I thought my neighbors locked me out of the building. Then I remembered I was drunk. PUSH AND TURN.
it's unicorns you uncultured swine
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