I hate my date so much right now for even thinking I want to do the electric slide.
You are possibly the most enthusiastic, likable bad influence I've ever met.
just smash crush and snort whatever we can get our paws on
I knew I fell for you for a reason
It's just like the Real World with babies
His bootycalls folder in his contacts are divided into regions, we should have all become airline pilots.
and lets be real... who can blow a middle school class's sunday school teacher and keep a straight face ever again? NOBODY.
Im going to hell in a hand basket. With a ribbon tied to my head. I'll be like a puppy for the devil.
I masterbate to the thought of you. You totally aren't just a booty call.
How do we turn this unicorn pinata into a bong?
CSI Miami is on and the guy is trying to save this woman who got shot. By stripping off his shirt & belt. THE WOMAN NEEDS YOUR PANTS OFF TOO
And it was in that moment when I realized that these high schoolers looked up to me and that I should set a good example. So I stole a casserole and left.
You do realize he's just an extension of his penis, right?
Just because your drunk doesn't mean you can stick your dick in the snow. Just a FYI
OMG I accidentally abducted a cat. Now there is a cat in my apartment. I NEED TO UNDO WHAT I HAVE DONE
To be honest, I'm more surprised when you're not high at this point
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