I could make wine with my vomit
I'm such a slut...i kept having sex with him after he called me his ex gf's name. I just felt like i deserved something out of it too.
did you know that snuggie is the perfect anti-freak out aid for stoners? it weighs you down so you can't go anywhere. just sit there and enjoy the movie, that's right.
Well it went from being a hug to a straight out tackle through the back door.
Dude's from Puerto Rico. Majoring in Spanish is like us majoring in drinking with a minor in watching Forgetting Sarah Marshall.
I really don't think you should have 'baptized' your tattoo in vodka the same night you got it.
I'm drugging my best friend. I'm like a whole new level of bitch.
Dude this deaf chick is totally hot, I just bought an apartment on boner ave
The nausea has returned and I can't handle such things to exit my body so violently
She introduced me as that girl Nathan was fingering
Want to go home, so casually slip my underwear in his pocket. Never seen him grin so big and say goodbye to his friends.
I may or may not already be in your hot tub when you get home. I have a key to your house and no shame.
I feel like I got hit by a truck. And I vaguely remember getting into an argument with a passive aggressive Ron Burgundy in a onesie- grown man, not a baby- about the pronunciation of New Orleans
For dinner, I'm having saltines, canned whipped cream, and beer. Are we sure I'm responsible enough for home ownership?
how much do I hate his dog? was just googling to see if you can rent a hungry eagle for the weekend hate.
Randomize
