NEWSFLASH - my freind is drunk and admitted that he hates having sex with dogs. should i help him or let him be??
He also left me a wonderful voice mail..... and is now asking me where the planters peanut guy is.
You should probably go find him.
at the bar. watching boys pee in urinals. when they come out we give them a thumbs up or a thumbs down. probbb shouldn't prop the bathroom door open with a bar stool....
i'm drinking with a bunch of phds, i feel very stupid but good about my drinking abilities
It's a system.. i get to hook up with them and you get to play words with friends with them afterwards.
we've had our differences but let's set them aside, go home and fuck
Attempted to dodge my boyfriends cum last night and ended up falling off the bed and getting the worlds most painful charlie horse. fuck my life.
She has "Massive Shits" listed as a turn off. That's very specific and there's a story behind it I bet.
Sweet, got a date tomorrow night
Any chance I can buy my dignity back with $45?
Is there some sort of line being crossed when your shower activities start to involve jimmy johns?
Just bought plan b at 8am. Then the cashier asked if I wanted to donate to the children's miracle network. Fml
If I'm gonna have a rotation of guys, I really should stop them leaving boob bruises...
Oh BTW the next time I see you I don't care where we are your dick will be going into some part of my body.
After the 2nd person threw up, you told us that your 'mint shooters' were just shots of mint mouthwash
Just saw you run by my class yelling "fuck you!". Good luck and stay human!
I think I'm more excited for Santa to come now that I made a drinking game out of it
Randomize
