Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
i effing cant stand that stupid soul the new way to roll hamster commercial. everyone im with is laughing and now hate them all.
You came in at two thirty, wearing your underwear and a tie then asked where you could find a sombrero and a pair of stilletos that would fit your men's size thirteen feet.
It's like I paid NJ Transit $33 to suck his dick and go home. Fuck that.
Acid flashbacks - fact or fiction? Have been seeing a surprising amount of sparkly shit this afternoon...
do not give him the "i just had sex cake" i repeat DO NOT give him the cake. things didn't go well
high as fuck. watching parent trap with my mom. keep missing my mouth.
I make your heart skip a beat like that pivotal moment when you open a public toilet lid
I gave him 3 xanax and recorded the ball drop. He's gonna think tonight is New Years.
There are several different types of life sentences in my purse right now.
Then years and years after that I will send you a picture of my warped vagina from all the kids that I had.
I told him I was gunna have sex with him in both of our cars at the same time.
I AM GETTING LAID TONIGHT YES HAPPY DAY PRAISE JESUS ALMIGHTY IN HEAVEN DEAR GOD CHRIST YES DADDY YAAASSS
Fuck you guys, I'm trying to nurse my hangover and eat my chicken tenders in peace.
if it makes u feel better, i skipped class so i could go to a sex convention in jersey a few hours earlier than if i went to class.
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