and then the other night his penis tricked us both into sex
i just got on a party bus. i think i left my belly button at the bar.
The look I see on guys faces when they realize my nipples are pierced remind me of when my mom used to come home from the grocery store and surprise me with poptarts.
I think it was you who decided that coming home at 3AM and cooking eggs topless was the best way to end our night. Eating the scrambled eggs off each other's boobs, that was ellie's idea
You tried to sled down the middle of the street. In. Your. Coat. Of course you are bruised.
I really wish I had added "blowjob on a slide at a playground" to my bucket list before last night.
My vag has a bald spot. That is so middle aged. Is this my midlife crisis?
I slept with an Israeli and a Palestinian in the same day. It feels wrong.
I almost lit my balls on fire tonight.
Walking towards a police car with full spotlights on you while being fully erect..awkward exp. for both parties
Geez don't go to a bar for a few days and everyone freaks out.
But, if I start dating you brother, I can't talk to you about the sex anymore!! Like... Can we talk about it anonymously?! I just won't use his name.
did i get sucker punched in the face last night or was our make-out session just that intense?
You go to class with the flu but don't go when it rains... Get your shit together
My feet surprised me
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