No. I still stand by my previous statement that nachos and tequila is the breakfast of champions.
Packing for the trip... do they take Visa in South Dakota?
i hope not, i just know that at one point I was sitting on the bathroom floor eating bugles and crying because i had no one to show that it looked like I had witch nails when i stuck them on the ends of all ofmy fingers.
Next time we go to the river, we nominate you to flash people for free booze. Your tits are the biggest.
thank god my boss can't smell the tequila on my breathe over the phone.
We did lines off of a Whitney Houston CD case. That makes everything okay.
When you accidentally type "I want Prince William to fuck me in the ass" to your mom there's really no way to take that back.
You won’t make it to November. A 21st bday and Halloween in the same night has shitshow/ jail written all over it. So I call dibs on that tall guy
If you happen to tell anybody my drunk story in the near future, please refrain from telling them about me shitting myself. People are getting the wrong idea and random people are messaging me on Facebook making fun of me for that
Thanks to a poorly written tweet a whole bunch of people thought I died last night.
What!? It's 7:30am on gameday. This keg is not going to drink itself.
Apparently, Lolla sends you an email every time you use your wristband to buy a beer.
21 new emails...yikes
If dispatch calls for us tell them I'm having a significant emotional event in the restroom
also, my mom just called to make sure the dick tattoo on your arm was fake..
Not drinking until my bday. I know it's only a few days but it feels like when couples get celibate before the wedding and there's all that tension.
Randomize
