I may just buy something cuz i have 6 weddings in the next year and a half.
Holy shittt I don't even have a bf
you were definitelymotorboating random chicks as they walked out of the bar. just like, down the line. you kept yelling "Motor Boats for everyone!!!!"
Did you dl zombie porn on my computer?
So what if i'm late to spanish tomorrow. who the hell cares. i don't even speak spanish.
I can't believe I'm wasting this thong on a guy in a sweater vest.
picked up a girl by parallel parking. i love this town already.
Since when does sleeping with your RA not result in free meal swipes? I feel so tricked...
Sorry for trying to give you my dresser last night. Are any of the drawers still in your car?
she drove 3 hrs one way just to sleep with me. I felt bad complaining about paying for condoms.
I don't mean to ruin your favorite Disney movie...but...we both came when Mufasa died.
The EMT told me when I left the ER "I'd like to take off your pants again and inspect your package. Just not during a medical emergency..." We're hooking up tonight.
Points for getting a hot hook up after getting a shard of glass in your thigh. Almost makes it worth it.
Is being in jail an excusable absence?
Idk man, we spent like 20 mins arguing about the moral ambiguity of fucking in someone else's car
He lit a shoe on fire and tried putting it out by peeing on it
The body is still out there. I don't think my trainer realized when he asked me not to drink for 24 days, how often I see dead people
Randomize
