She looks like Sash Grey but sounds like Fran Drescher. Advise.
took shots out of a medicine cup. i can get used to college.
you kept running around the room with a flask shouting "so much room for activities!" then someone tripped you and you passed out
The bar I'm at just passed out smores to everyone. I don't know what it has to do with cinco de mayo but I'm down.
he fucked my hip out of place.
She won't let me open the car door while we are on the highway so I can throw up outside. She deserves to have her car thrown up in.
If you would give me the chance we might have the two separate pieces of the greatest fuck puzzle ever.
your ex girlfriend just barged in my house, drunk, mumbled something about "car strip", and put a huge hole in my drywall with her head.
No just a slight sexual miscommunication which led to a little (lot) vomiting by one party and a bruised sternum on the other party involved.
I can't even make a guess how that goes.
OUR DIABOLICAL SLUT PLAN HATH COMMENCED!
Something like that. Healthy diet of beer, ranch sunflower seeds and sex keeps me young.
Apparently fireball doesn't mix well with my no carb diet
I didn't know where you were for like 15 minutes and then I went in the bathroom splashing water on the mirror and throwing hand towels around saying that you were "redecorating"
I just masturbated at work... Don't know why but I thought you should know
condom fairy costume came in handy...we were making out in my living room and he wanted it so i took a condom off the costume and we did it right there...with my tutu still on....
Randomize
