Omg I just drooled on the screen of my phone from smiling with my mouth open while textin bahahahaahah
the last thing i remember is fucking her. GAME CHANGER i woke up in another bedroom to her younger sister blowing me
Did he make you just lay your head next to his cock and talk to it again?
Just got done fucking the squirter chick. She came when we were in a 69. I now know what it's like to be water boarded.
The chick working the drive through at BK on New Years stuck her head out the window and told me there were no line ups for the bathrooms inside so i should go in there. I just kept squatting and peeing and told her it would prob help business.
Look at my eyebrows in this pic! We deffo need to go back to that waxing place.
You have a cock in one hand and a shot in the other. Your eyebrows are not the topic in need of discussion.
You know you're a whore when you color code your calendar with who you slept with on what day incase you have ANOTHER pregnancy scare
you texted me "dude im face"
it sounded so right at the time
He turned me into a screamer. Guess I'm really not a lesbian.
I told you in the isle if you get the one that vibrates that I masturbating with it. Your fault.
Bullshit. You owe me a toothbrush.
woke up in a random sweater in a random bed in a random house on a street I don't recognize..
also, I vaguely remember swapping shirts with some random guy on the dance floor.
all I know is this drummer better stop eye fucking me while he plays cowbell. it is way too early for that.
He sent me a dick pic for every page I had to write for final papers (87) & brought me adderall. Tell me that isn't romance.
I've never had someone have to dis-arm themselves before I sucked their dick prior to that
Wait an hour then go and untie him. Bring toilet paper and some spare underwear. Want anything from Starbucks?
Randomize
