oh god the rape fog is back!
I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
Locked out of the apartment with just a box of wine way to begin the weekend.
If they made snuggies with a sleeve for my morning wood, id consider buying one...
Not enough clothes on. Not enough vagina. Not enough drugs in my body.
He kept making me pretend I was his personal trainer. When I swallowed his cum he made me pretend I was drinking a protein shake. Thats actually what it tasted like.
It's so hard to find a shirt to wear out that is easily taken off, cut off my paramedics, but says "I'm a grown, respected woman"
Earned the respect of a group of freshman by chugging Das Boot while hanging out a window and lost it shortly after by wrecking a clown bike into them.
I show up hung over with mcdonalds. Why wouldn't he have sex with me? It's a fucking leap year...
i refuse to give everyone the satisfaction of seeing the results of my acting on my thoughts
Ok maybe now I get why I'm single I think I just broke a rib pooping
I googled my name and pictures of you drinking showed up. Way to steal my thunder....
We kicked down a door together last night, pretty sure that qualifies us as best friends.
She’s fine. Found her in the bathtub eating Cheerios and watching Rugrats on an iPad.
Kinda thinking about going to my moms wedding high
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