Pretty sure I only gave out my other # though. You know, 777 777-7777
Hahaha. So was it a Freudian slip, or wishful thinking? ;)
Could be either seeing as you're in my phone as "3rd bar" and I couldn't pick you outta a line up.
just got a hand job during a movie in class today is gonna be great!
he aimed his bare ass at the sparkler, farted, and it really did work...i love 4th of july anal fire works
I don't think going to Relay for Life and painting our faces while everyone stares at us is a sufficent late night after the bars.
I inspected his penis with a mini flashlight to check for visible stds...he was clean
Don't byou dare ruin egg salad by putting your penis in it that would be so sad.
You just handed me your ATM card and wrote your PIN number on a dollar bill and said "for bail money."
I created a new solo drinking game. You need a handle, a laptop, and a shitty internet connection. Start watching the fort video in the que, play the snake while the videos constantly load, and take a drink everytime you fuck up. There was a video of a an asain female Justin beiber impersonator full screen when I woke up.
My pupils are so HUGE you can see into my soul from 2 miles away
Letting two friends screw at my place in exchange for weed. This is my life.
So you told me to remind you that you vomited 3 times in the street because you would forget so here is your reminder
I'm eating a subway sandwich in the bathtub because I don't want to move. God bless boys from Brooklyn
I've been here 20 minutes and a sweaty naked man has kissed me on the cheek.
I feel like my dick pic collection should be archived at the Smithsonian
I just used my vibrator to scratch my back. This being single shit is for the birds
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