So why didn't Edward and the Cullens just kill Hitler?
You need to stop watching Twilight.
I tried watching the view, i got through 8 minutes. That is probably a world record.
They always sound like a bunch of chickens.
He looks like Spencer from the game Dreamphone
I apparently tried to stop my spending of money by sealing the top of my wallet with gum
I think my penis and your vagina just became best friends last night.
And he tried to make it as casual as possible by asking where i was going on vacation while he was poundin me.
We can't all go after the girl with the low self-esteem
Well she just peed in a pot and is now trying to boil it
its warm now so i can go back to sleeping with guys based on their fuckability rather than how much warmth they generate.
I'll never forget how blunt of a wingman you were. "Excuse me, my friend wants to makeout with someone"
Apparently it is frowned upon to ask the bouncer to stop pointing his flashlight in your face and step back so you can puke....and then do it
Just come get me. Somewhere there's hobo that's going to want his dumpster back, and I kinda want to be gone when he discovers the vomit.
She may be more beautiful than I am, but I bet she hasnt pissed in as many public places as me...
I saved him in my phone as "Well-Hung Burrito Savior." I love Taco Tuesday.
Bro, I was just laying in bed with this girl and her boyfriend came an woke me up
Randomize
