Obv we're gonna bbm each other in bed
I just ate a whole pineapple for lunch. You should be begging to give me a bj tonight.
All I could understand from his text was "hatchet" "soccer" & "bitch". its safe to say andy has had enough to drink & will be violent soon
she added emergen-c to the bong-water bro, brilliant.
she walked out and i tried to get her to come back but i couldn't remember her name so i just whistled... future reference: that doesn't work
screw it, I'll just be a stripper until next August when then are looking for suitable teachers to teach the future of America. it's like a feel good movie just a little out of order and im a dude.
Dude I live in a fucking closet and still get laid every weekend. Figure it out.
You tried to fight everyone, so we kept having her take her shirt off. You were sufficiently distracted...
Almost threw up on my grandmother as she walked in the house. Had to run to the bathroom and vomit my brains out. Prolly getting taken out of the Will now.
There's times when I just want to bottle my farts for later they're so insane.
I made out with him in the club and he endorsed me on Linkedin. My networking skills are off the charts.
In honor of the new administration, I'm going to make it my goal this weekend to get some lesbian action. Fuck Donald Trump and fuck Mike Pence. I'm going to be a spiteful gay.
She started crying because the Rugrats grew up
The Adderall says yes, but my body says no.
He told us when he was 10 he started shoving bars of soap up his ass for pleasure so i winked at him
Randomize
