I can text with my tongue
Studying for the exam.. Identifying the portraits using phrases like "large penis"
My vagina has officially become a vortex for sexually confused frat guys.
His roomates just started party boying me. He stood there with the look of horror on his face.
We're smoking a joint the size of the average penis right now. I may not survive.
my tonsil wound opened up during the kegstand but i stopped it with a popsicle
It is too early in this hangover to be seeing some guys ass crack.
If youre wondering about the smell, i set your hamster on fire. But don't worry he's ok
Ask her if it hurt when she broke through earths crust as she ascended from hell
Still not over the fact that we prayed to Jesus to help us win beer pong
I spent most of my night in the men's room eating popcorn on the garbage can conversing with strangers pissing
Sorry for yelling at you, I'm just really emotional about missing comicon.
DUDE NEVER CALL THE COPS BACK
My dad accidentally texted me asking if I had weed...
Maybe you should say yes, and you guys can like bond or something...
Do dollar stores sell vibrators?
Randomize
