Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
to do: lose virginity to hamster dance
tailgaiting my last final, a perfect sendoff.
i have a strong feeling i fucked one of the waiters here...
she's using the space heater to try to heat up a pop-tart...
what's not responsible about a pool full of beer?
Is it wrong in Austin to talk to the homeless while I feed a bird my chips??
The thing is that despite the high paying career and the increased responsibility, my life hasn't changed that much. Only instead of blacking out on $2 wells at some dive I blackout on top shelf martinis in a suit. Oh and only on Fri & Sat nights. Being 30 doesn't suck as bad as everyone led me to believe.
I come back upstairs and she's leaning over sink full of vomit saying 'oh my god it's the chili'
He played pinball with my ovaries. He won.
I want to be the sort of person he can respect in the morning once the drugs wear off.
i think the last part kind of negates the first part there
it was like a shit fog rolling out of the east to encompass me and have it's way with me
Drunk texting is the poetry of my life
I have a sixth sense for large penises and lack of morals
My dreams last night were filled with sex and quidditch.
Randomize
