I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
I find it ironic that im starting my birth control on mothers day.
we're doing beer bongs from the windmill...epic
As per my father's affair, married men are no longer off limits.
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.
Had no idea what his name was when I woke up. Went through his desk, found his tax records. Ben. And loaded.
My only regret is not throwing up on the conveyor belt in the dining hall
Aaaaand then she sang MDMA to the tune of the YMCA song, with appropriate gestures.
I promised him we could have sex if he would let me take him to the hospital to get stitches.
he puked in the sink and didnt turn off the water before he passed out on the bathroom floor. its been 2 hrs and we finally noticed that the whole fucking house is flooded. to hell with this birthday party
I swear, when I turn 21 in four months, I'm going to carry a flask around with me, and make a drinking game out of everything.
Good, I don't think Coke dipped ring pops hold up in the mail anyway.
When you trip so hard that you can see your friends thoughts through their pupils.
I kept screaming that he looked like Khal Drogo and rode around the bar on his back.
Don't do it. He's got a dick the size of a baseball bat. You don't want that commitment.
I have to. For the sake of science.
Randomize
