While she was crying about breaking up, he looked at her through his fork and said "of course she's upset, she's in jail." Having sex with him tonight.
watching hot guy on train scrolling with his blackberry's track ball... o to be that track ball...
Joey just asked me if I ever got anything stuck in my vag.
was it embarrassing when you had to say yes?
walmarts paint section shouldnt be open at 3am
She came to the party with six kegs and a life sized portrait of Lavar Burton. SHE WILL BE MY WIFE.
Hey when you wake up and read this, we really need to stop pullin our dicks out when we drink dude. I have all the pics, yall are assholes
I couldn't get past the raccoon on my porch so i slept on my lawn.
WHY ARE YOU SMOKING WEED WHEN YOU JUST HAD A STROKE. AND MORE IMPORTANTLY WHY ARE YOU DOING IT WITHOUT ME.
I liked a picture of him with his pants around his ankles, if that doesn't say I'm into you, I don't know what does.
Everything is just really out of control. I hear puking from three different parts of the house. Roger has black eye from being punched. Kaiser tried shaving his head, but somehow burned himself. Music is bumping, but everyone is either puking and calling out for help or blacked the fuck out.
Imma need a double jack on the rocks and a BJowsky from the hot bartender.
Yes I said BJOWSKY. Pronounced "buh jow skii".
I'm sorry if you weren't drunk enough to be peer pressured into the naked dancing/group make out that transpired last night
She told me the next morning I stared at her tits for like 15 minutes with binoculars from only a few seats away.
I was giving him head and he slipped one of those hats with propellors on top on my head.
i really didnt think i was that drunk last night but the txts from unknwn #s that say i like your lace panties are def telling me otherwise
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