walk of shame with early morning football tailgaters. niice.
I don't remember her name, but I do remember yelling at her from the balcony of the hotel room during her walk of shame.
Lesson 1: you can't keep macking on a girl if you get handcuffed
I woke up this morning with 2 australian chicks passed out in my living room, a whole bunch of coke on my kitchen counter and I have no idea how the fuck either thing got there
I doubt were getting our security deposit back... the toilet just fell off the wall
HI MARY. THERE IS A RAINBOW AT OUR APARTMENT
i need some food
Holy shit I forgot about you stabbing him.
You don't understand!!! BACON ROSES!!! Why are you not more excited?!
But we only had three ninja turtles. So everyone that would ask us where Donatello was, we would say "what? He's gone? Shredder is at it again!"
I'm so high. I'm going to need directions to get home.
The doctor basically called me a dirty dick.
He came all over her clothes we have to leave
There are leaves in my underwear?
How do I sound like a lady while communicating the fact that I want his dick in my mouth?
Thanks for loaning me your shower and panties. My hubby is awesome, but I shouldn’t go home commando, smelling like lube and sperm again
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