well i just puked at a family gathering so i can cross that off the bucket list
your address is 607B right?
yeah why?
i need to tell the guy bringing over the flaming bag of dog shit where to put it
I'm trapped in whichever ring of hell is populated by inbred yokels and type 2 diabetes.
I told him to show me what he was made of and he came on my face. law students are so technical.
Why hello there Olivia! How are you today on this fine and most wonderful morning full of magic and adventure and awesomeness?
Someone just got laid.
Romer got arrested for getting in a bar fight with a bus boy because he was trying to steal a keg, had it all the way to the car
I woke up exactly where I passed out... on top of him yet he somehow put his pants back on
I need to have sex with you on our hotel room window ledge... This is a need not a request.
I felt kinda bad after screaming 'ITS MY BIRTHDAY TOO' while he was having a seizure in the front of the party bus.
At least I know she didn't hear me crawl to my room. Or did I walk on my hands? Fuck if I know.
He was so high he started playing Twister on the striped rug. Then when we missed midnight he went on a screaming rampage about his New Year's Eve being meaningless. How do you think it went?
I'm not even 100% sure what it is, but if it involves Thor and Doritos, I'm in
Wine. Check.\nDino chicken nuggets. Check.\n#IssaParty
Hahahaha. He sent me a dick snap in the lululemon stockroom. What is life. If this works out, this could benefit everyone....
It was a successful conference for my sales and my sex life. Those are probably related
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