Sweetheart, you've always been a horrid bitch...
Shes cool when Im fuckin smashed.....Sober.....She suuuuuuuuuuucks
wake up i wanna do it froggy style
Hey baby girl when you gonna let my tongue get up in that ass like i'm an explorer trying to go deep under on a quest for the lost city of atlantis
your text was fucking rediculious. Will let you eat my asshole though.
I was worried if he didn't show me his penis, he would kill himself
is it bad that listening to the rabbi's wife talk about how we should only be with one person is making me really, really horny for no string attached sex
I learned an important lesson this weekend.... I'm way to good at sex to travel for it. From now on he drives here...
Just saw the stripper pole on the road that we threw out of the party bus last night
It was like die hard. Except with more penises.
I hear sloppy seconds go great with fried rice
he just looked at me, said "i think i'll keep you around, you put the seat back up and everything," and then burst into tears.
Shits getting dirty between us in her dad's bedroom. I'm talking early millennium rap and r&b
And to top it off I think that was the first time in history that anyone has used "oh just taking care of her grandmother and doing porn" in the same sentence.
I planned to shave today but it's Friday the 13th I might cut something
How to not get laid: tell him he reminds you of your brother. While having sex. Thanks, vodka.
Randomize
