I'm laying in your front yard are you home
even in my darkest moments, having another person eat my jizz would make me smile
When he was fingering me, it felt/looked like he was digging around for pocket change.
20 yrs from now I just want to barge in her house and yell at her kids, "I took ur moms virginity!"
We're cuddling on the couch that me and his brother had sex on...this feels wrong
My ex just called and told me that he is on his way to the hospital because he popped a vein in his dick. Should I go to the ER with him or class?
If you ever find a dick that big chop it off and bring it to me.
All I know is that either you or I told a black guy that he looked like usher and he was sexy and that is our confession
The bartender just hugged us goodnight. I think we go there too often.
I JUST ATE A STRANGE BURRITO, I SHOULD NOT BE EXPECTED TO KNOW ANYTHING RIGHT NOW.
I think there's a problem with society when I'm shopping for lingerie and I think "man some of these would make kickass shirts"
Rigtt?!
Ever since the Christmas fiasco of '08, I can no longer watch Rudolf the Red nosed reindeer without getting a hard on
We fucked to Bonnie Tyler in my car. He's the one.
i showed up really high and was trying to not be,so in order to not seem high, i got plastered
Drinking at 10 in the morning and swimming might not be the best idea I've ever had but it beats working
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