she lunged for my junk like it was the cure for swine flu
I never thought that I'd hear someone utter the words, "I need another studded belt." I was wrong.
This guy just brought his piggy bank into the bar with him. Talk about corruption of childhood.
They need a stunt cock, be about 20 more minutes.
She's trying to master eating with her feet. She said it was be she "always has to be prepared."
The night took a downhill turn when he started using a butter knife as a spoon to drink his cosmo
she has an amazing ass but I need more beers to get past her horse face. It works out perfect becauseI can use her teeth as a bottle opener.
Too lazy to get out of my bed thats 2 feet away from you. Are you sure youre alright?
Parents weekend was a success.
Yeah, I guess so if you consider being arrested and having your parents bail you out a success...
Bail could have come out of your pocket so yes, I think we were financially responsible this weekend.
Partial kegs from last night are currently in my bathtub, which leads me to 2 questions: 1. What are you doing tonight? 2. Can I use your shower?
Yeah thats cool. We can play the alphabet game while doing bumps of coke in the back of his volswagon
It's was about average. But he had a tat on his thigh that said "pull-out n' rollout" so I won't have to worry about a round two request.
Is there a reason there's a dick print on my seventh-story window?
i just googled coccaine effects on sexual performance..maybe im dating the wrong guy
You can make out without kissing
Explanation needed
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