Some man just said he would jack off to my hair color.
He probably put up nude pics. He seems like that kind of guy.
We went to the police station completely hammered looking for you. Don't tell me I'm not a good friend.
I guess we had a small kitchen fire somehow when we decided to bake fruitroll ups and croutons...
There are many reasons why he shouldn't come over. And each one is longer than his penis.
I mean, I'm all about sharing, but when he tells me about his wet dreams about Oprah, I think it's taking it too far.
About six hours after the bottle of smirnoff, I was googling "losing your stomach lining" and calling my mom for help. She has experience.
He made me this shot called the allergen. It was a shot of vodka with a Claritin dropped in it.
I'm allowing myself one mistake a year. He gets to be 2012.
new district manager is here. you need to come in early
5th mimosa says otherwise
Did you just tell me you watch cartoon porn because it's more real?
I just bottomed with the last unicorn playing in the background. I've hit a new level of gay.
Why were you twerking to, "The Wheels on the Bus"?
Why are we so out going and care free I can't wait for maturity to kick in so we stop having 700 dollar bar tabs
If it makes you feel better he's in the stall next to me and I'm taking a diabolical shit. He's complaining
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