make sure to take notes today. there is a guy in a wheelchair who might be getting a DUI from a cop on horseback. I'm gonna see this through.
I'm at an open mic night and the next act is called 'the best creed cover band ever.' The guy i recently hooked up with is on bass.
I have all these new brothers and sisters I'm just now finding out about
you were sleeping on the floor, then you woke up and told me you were not comfy enough. You took the carpet in the bathroom put it in the bath and you slept there.
just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
This is kind of a weird question but were you the other girl Ben asked to do a group sex thing with?
The 78 year old woman who works next to me divorced her ex husband, remarried her first husband, and retired all in one day. I'd say it makes your breakup on Valentine's day pretty insignificant.
Please write a memoir and name it "Game Boy and Dick Stuff"
Where the condoms are as broken as my dreams
He looks like he was the one that always had koolaid stains around his mouth as a kid, he can fuck off.
I appear to have wine on my toes. I am really not clear as to how this happened. I'm gonna have a little lie down.
I'm either a high functioning alcoholic or I'm making the most of the fact that this is the last year that its socially acceptable to be black-out drunk five days a week.
I was actually kind of excited. I mean, how many people can say they've been question by the CIA?
Honestly no idea how dad figured out i did all that gay porn unless he was looking at gay porn.
You know how last week before we left I was drinking outta that blue cup and I left it sitting across the road. Well, it hadn't moved and my family just found it, brought it inside and cleaned it. I think this cup is my soulmate.
Randomize
