I'm jealous of your bromance
how am i supposed to spank it to a shakira video when she looks like she is doing the robot?
My drug dealer is spending the weekend in my studio apartment. I feel like I've crossed a line that should never be crossed.
the fact that you could barely do more than slur incoherent sentences didn't stop you from correcting her grammar
We're attempting to get a tally of how may people puked last night...Please respond with your vomit status.
his name is devion and he has a voice like velvet and handcuffs
every Thursday i draw one of my friends names out of a hat to choose who i will drunkenly text all weekend
Is selling savings bonds for acid money something a normal person does?
All I know is I was bleeding, she was bleeding, we stole someone's Lucky Charms, and then I made you guys order a pizza
sometimes you just gotta eat tacobell at 2am and cry all your feelings out
I DID MY EXPERIMENTING. FOUR YEARS OF IT. IN HIGH SCHOOL.
THANKS BE TO BLACK BABY JESUS IN HIS LITTLE GOLDEN DIAPER FOR BLESSING ME WITH NOT PREGNANT
I'm talking to this guy I met online about French toast. I am the oddest fucking combination of hungry and horny. Wtf brain.
if jesus wore shoes made out of pure flavor and hurricane kicked u in the face thats how it feels to eat pizza bites right now
I got a discount on the lube for giving the cashier focaccia bread from work.
Randomize
