my vagina's been through so much this weekend
you mean so much has been through your vagina this weekend?
My facebook horoscope today said I will have a little "confusion". Obviously astrology understands a blackout.
i was told that i was found face down in a plate of ketchup at the dinner table
just got invited to smoke a bowl by a guy who has a prostetic leg and has been on the jerry springer show multiple times. I love my life right now
Working out to an exercise video on OnDemand. Also, drinking beer and eating cream cheese with a side of bagel in between stretches.
You gave the cab driver your pants as collateral while you ran in the house for money.
Dude, someone broke the toilet seat in two, the is a pair of panties on the kitchen counter, and the entire house smells like a brewery
Regular drunk falling on flat ground did not prepare me for drunk falling into a pile of firewood.
Im organizing a group to help fondle my shoe. Too many shots dude. Too many.
The night went downhill when he lit her purse on fire and tried putting it out with vodka
Then this bride walked into the bar, she thought it would be a good idea to hug her & then she started playing parachute with her train.
If it makes you feel any better... I have a friend who found out her mom was in the video for 2 Live Crew's "Pop That Pussy"
This Alex the guy who suck your belly ring
Haha. I have resting bitch face. He has I want y'all to die face. It's a subtle difference
I have a story for you. It involves waffles and getting naked with the local weatherman.
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