my boss just made his own remix to aaron carter's i want candy. i cant decide if its the funniest or most embarrassing thing ive seen
and she was petting her beer can
wasted. watching meteors, awesome idea i ever had, see 2 for every 1 with ma double vision
What kind of flower means "I want to have unprotected sex with you, preferably from behind?" because thats the message I'd really like to send on Valentines Day
I really should sober up and deal with this hangover
It seems to be one of those life decisions I'm perfectly content never making though
Cute underage boy is in my house.
OH MY GOD. DON'T DO ANYTHING. WHY IS HE IN YOUR HOUSE.
It's like hey here is one penis enjoy nothing but that for the rest of your life
Dude, get out of Andrea's vagina and call me back
I made out with a guy who was dressed as Borat
And like a minute in, I was like oh fuck what am I doing
Did you run away?
I DANCED AWAY.
can I cover your dick in cookie butter?
She was yelling at the tater tots, "In five minutes, you're going in my mouth!"
On a unprofessional note, there's a new girl in photo.
That wasn't unprofessional. The fact that I'm going to fuck her is unprofessional.
I knew how blacked out you were when you started doing that thing where you dance around and call yourself the Black Swan.
So if i am talking to a guy and he sends me a pic and he is wearing Spiderman button down dress shirt.... Is it ok if i dont want to talk to him anymore?
Whose house did we sneak into and play beer pong for 4 hours at last night?
I honestly have no idea
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