No seriously, I have to sell the house because my wife found out I'm gay.
It usually only happens when Im really excited. Normally not that fast. You still enjoy it?
I just gave my patient permission to swallow while pregnant. She was so embarrassed to ask...but her bf was really happy with the answer.
He skyped me to learn how to roll a joint and for us to masturbate together. And you said a long distance relationship wouldn't work.
He was singing Justin Beiber while we did it. I love secure Spanish men
Well yes but because of that incident i now salute to truck drivers
Just stabbed myself in the face trying to lick melted cheese off a kitchen knife.
I can't say "baby i'm to high to talk to you" in Starbucks.
The guy who just got ate on True Blood had the same balls as you.
Tim and I found you a 5ish and asked how you were doing with the breakup. All you said was "i can't words"
My dick pics could make it to the popular page on Instagram.
So right before she was about to give me head she tapped the tip and said "Is this thing on" I think I'm in love.
I need to sanitize my soul.
He wanted to save my dignity, I just wanted beads and jäger
You know its a good night when ur woken up by the bartender asking you how he ended up at your house
Randomize
