And my awkwardness continues. I felt the need to send him a text that said roar. I did it.
hot pretzels for dinner, snacks, and now breakfast...oh to be a poor college student...everyday is like a carnival.
Come 10 years my vagina won't look like this. I must cherish it
funny how all you have to say is "i'm infertile" and boys are stoked on you
After throwing up, the toothpaste tasted so good. Thank you for not letting me eat it.
A guy dressed like Jesus just gave me a mini keg. Prayers really do come true.
He just climbed off me and used my hairspray to fix his hair. If he hadn't just gone down on me I would think he's gay.
One of those nights had to have been when we tried to walk through the McDonald's drive through -- and then got in the car with complete strangers. And stole their hamburgers.
I just got my hands on some dry ice. How do you feel about coming home to a mystical wizard toilet?
Drunk enough that you donated $50 to taco bell, because they serve a great purpose.
We are in Florida for 3 days. The people in charge of shit brought: a waffle maker, a cheese grater and a SEWING MACHINE
AND NO VODKA
call me with an emergency in 5 min. This chick has a strap on hangin behind the bathroom door.
You're his holy grail. The moment he finally gets you to orgasm he'll probably just retire and become a monk.
I forgot what I was gonna say, but I'm pretty excited to not be pregnant.
A dozen fresh-baked cookies delivered to my dorm AND I don't have chlamydia or gonorrhea... Could this night get any better??
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