4:12a: just got back to his place now. I don't want to talk about it
did not feel like going to store to get condoms last night so went to her pantry and got a sandwich bag and a rubberband
did it work?
nope
...she just doesn't genetically have the things I want my kids to have.
he told me he was a chubby chaser.. then winked. i'm signing up for a gym pass as we speak
I meant to thank you again for giving up a potential interracial threesome to come to my party. I'm glad you stayed!
They made the rule if I caught the ball with my cleavage they would drink the entire beer pong table. I don't think they expected me to actually do it.
We'll find out our level of friendship after tonight. You'll be helping me move a body. My body.
She came to class yesterday wearing a shirt saying Maybe Partying Will Help. Showed up to class today and puked three times.
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
But in defense of this shit summer we've had, I totally perfected my shotgunning skills. I have achieved my summer goal.
who was i chillin with last night? i woke up in a storage unit
I still have the video of you three making soup in my kitchen and asking random people for permission DURING the party, not after like usually
Don't remember, didn't happen
I HAVE THE VIDEO YOU DICK IT HAPPENED
I was just wicked nice to a telemarketer... that's how stoned this woman got me.
Only you could make a reflective vest look even remotely sexy
I woke up next to him with nothing on and my thong around his neck. I just put my clothes on and left, but he still has my thong.
Randomize
