Just bummed a recreational vicodin off my friend's 40 year old boyfriend & am hoovering a breakfast sammy from costco. And I don't have a boyfriend because why?
THE most awkward situation I have EVER been in
Also, I just threw up a little in my mouth and had to act like everything was totally fine.
I thought at least he would want to exchange numbers after he tried to put it in my bum
I'm going to rise like a phoenix out of the drunken, shameful ashes that were last weekend.
i really wish someone from a royal background would fuck me so i could literally say i was 'royally fucked'.
I don't know at least half of his name. I have officially become a statistic.
I really hope our interview with channel 6 last night doesn't air or else my parents are gona get a first hand look at my alcohol problem
the fda needs to get their shit together cause these four loko going away parties are gonna kill me
I thought about puking over the balcony or the bathroom and figured the balcony seemed much funner.
Way to ruin everything
I am drinking jager with a cat, your argument is invalid
I knew no one else would have gone along with it since it's morally wrong and probably illegal. You said, "Yes. And let's add fireworks."
just had sex in my dorm hall public bathroom while wearing my favorite cat sweater. tonight was a win
I spilled wine on my pillowcase and I figure it's basically my lifeblood so I'm just leaving it
Throwing up while listening to NPR because I’m trying to adult through this hangover
Sexual Dilemma - Covid Edition: Flirting with a cute frat boy. The Cougar in me wants to go back to his frat house and fuck his cocky brains out. The adult in me doesn’t want to get Covid and have to quarantine in a frat house for 2 weeks\n
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