I'm at a Rock of Love themed party. New high? New low? I can't tell.
Wait. Scratch that. It's not themed. These girls are just sluts.
he just kept going up to random asian girls and yelling at them for breaking up the beatles
Ever since I discovered that youporn works on blackberry, my brickbreaker skills have gone to shit
tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
and my souvenir for the night was a nice ambulance blanket
Tried to drunkenly hop a fence with my cast on to get away from the cops but ended up falling over a bench.. how do I explain those bruises to my parents?
Yeah her jello shots are the next closest thing to a lethal injection. That potent.
Cat. Why do you sit on things I need to use.
Because it is cat.
If God invented something better than rough, drunken, lesbian sex he kept that shit to himself.
Just bought a gingerbread house kit and pregnancy tests. Happy holidays.
I'm eating cereal out of a cocktail shaker. That kind of blizzard.
There is blood all over my sheets and no discernible source.
We need a kiddie pool and lots of cornstarch
where are you guys?
stoned at his house watching water boil
Apparently my hair turned out really good because I got my butthole licked by a stranger last night
Randomize
