what i wouldnt give for a night at orourkes without seeing 3+people ive slept with
Just took a shot out of a used mini planter. Might die from the pesticides, but didnt want whoever took all of my shotglasses to think they won.
You weren't just peeing. You were like grinding on it. And you tried to pee in the washing machine first.
I just threw up on the floor. And we're gonna fuck on the beer pong table, so keep everyone upstairs.
Ughhhh. Finnnneeeeee. I'll have sex with your brother. Sheesh. The things I do for you woman.
Then you bent down and whispered, "excuse me mr. Stair, could you please stop moving?"
I feel like that's something that he should've asked me over dinner..... instead of with his hand down my pants? maybe not
I wouldn't say I LOVE Pacman. I mean, sure, I'd battle against you in an epic Pacman struggle for blow jobs and glory. But I mean, who wouldn't?
How many times is too many times to use the word 'fuck' in my thesis?
I'm a great relationship counselor. My vagina will let you know if your relationship is gonna work or not.
she's p upset bro
Where is he. I have a sword.
There's no such thing as shame in your world, is there?
Just letting you know that your little sister is now your eskimo brother. You can send a thank you edible arrangement to Tammy.
At least your wife cheated on you. Women will feel bad for you. In a month there will boy bands that are jealous of your dick
Just sent a nude with the caption "seasons greetings from our family to yours"
Randomize
