No awkward lesbian experiences without me
Google if cops ever smoke weeds and then bust them. I need to know immidiately.
Who pooed in my magic bullet?
Sorry the bathroom was being used.
just used a paint mixing cup as a shot glass. thank u art school.
i guess it wasn't a booty call since he got home from the club at 6:00 am... he told me to consider it morning sex
3 girls crying in the bathroom at the bar. Its like a Christmas song
haha the sad thing is i can't decide whats worse. the fact that you're drunk judging a science fair or the fact that i'm really proud of you for it.
He was like a foghorn with a huge penis.
Aj and I already plan to tape our thumbs to our palms so we know how it feels to be a t-rex.
You slept with a red coat way too close to independence day. It's just very unpatriotic.
And then he serenaded me with "Pimps don't cry" from 'The Other Guys'. If that's not love I'm not sure what is
Dude my pants were only on for 20 minutes after she got there.
That's 30 minutes too many.
Why was I lying under a truck last night?
Yeah ok. We can maid of honor each other since you don't like my boobs enough to lesbian marry me
He radiates elegant sexual dominance. I bet even his balls have pinstripes.
Randomize
