He passes out, I smoke his kush. All's fair in love and a disappointing lack of sex.
Who faxed a picture of their penis to the office printer?!
while you laid on the ground I poured water into your mouth out of dog bowl some random guy walks by and said now that's what I like to see.
I think the world is coming to an end. Earthquakes, huricanes, floods, and now you say you LOVE him. Im building a shelter and going into hiding.
I used his computer to order the pizza and the only thing he had in his search bar was 'text NASA'
Hey, it's Thrasher! From the hospital!
There's two sisters at this place and they look competitive. Try for a threesome tonight?
I can't stop drooling did you spike my drink?
I'm still drunk. I put on workout clothes this morning and just puked in my bathroom. That's the same as going to the gym, right?
And I'm stuck at home while my dad's in vegas hanging out with Zach gali... Zach... That guy from the hangover
Sunday mornings are confusing. Like. I can't decide if I want to go for a run or start drinking
I'm at the point in my life where I'm gonna sell my eggs for cash
I just used my dick as to measure where my desk would go because I don't have a tape measure or a ruler.
College is really paying off. I am gonna be a great teacher. I just made a grading sheet for weed. This shit got an A.
I almost wrecked my car because of a guy in skinny jeans had a boner
Randomize
