So my shaver died while I was trimming...ya know. And now it is half way done. I don't think there's currently any aesthetic in keeping it this way...
Pete just told the whole party I'm a squirter
how was your night?
well, i just purchased 'sorry for being a drunk whore' cupcakes. how do you think my night was?
Lucky for you, I found your phone.....Not so lucky for you, it was in the bottom of your vomit-filled trashcan.
well when do great stories at the expense of people's relationships become a bad thing?
I saw you try to drink out of a soda machine at taco bell, don't worry about judging
Go tell your boss to go fuck himself because you have beer and doritos and zombies waiting on you
Best thing she said after I kicked her out "rugby guys have single handedly ruined my faith in men"
I don't remember anything but bad decisions last night
Personally, I'm gonna be Sexy Dobby the House Elf.
I walked out ot my car in the morning thinking there was a sandwich I left there from yesterday. Then later that day I was checking the mail and saw the other side of my car :/
It concerns me the most that u were potentially going to eat a day old car sandwich.
if you want to know how my night is going I just ugly cried in the cheesecake factory
you hit your head on the sneeze guard and passed out at Pizza Hut they called the police
worse hangover than the time you almost threw up in a plant in front of your daycare kids?
...I don't remember telling you about that but yes
He just blew a .079. Jesus loves him THAT much.
Randomize
