3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world.
is it appropriate to call someone “ a tasty piece of bitch?” This is time sensitive.
woke up next to her writing my name in some journal. apparently she makes every guy she hooks up with sign out.
i leave for school in 3 days. if you want your annual goodbye blow job you should probably call me
Can u please come get me. My car keys are gone. Somehow I ended up sleeping in my trunk
She didn't talk for 45 minutes. We finally convinced her to open her mouth. There was a flower in there.
he tried to catch his projectile vomit...then went back to beer pong
I recommend just blowing him. It's always the way to go.
Oh we're fine. I made her a "sorry I peed on you" omelet.
What do you think french fries on pizza would taste like?
i already know. Delicious. Use ranch.
They're fighting and it sounds intense. Cross your fingers for their demise
Toss in some raw meat and play heavy metal music. It will insight violence.
So here's a brief summary of my weekend: last night I drank four glasses of Death Punch, grabbed the toaster, said "This is mine", put it in my pants and walked out the front door.
Its honestly only a matter of time before I punch him in the face... I'll try to control myself until you guys break up
Tell me why i have 60 matches in 72 hours on tinder. Can i sell my tinder account like people used to sell their myspace pages and tumblrs when they had a lot of followers? Is that a thing?
My boyfriend's mom is the manager of Wendy's. The same one I took a pregnancy test in.
Randomize
