thats the only time ive ever had sloppy firsts
we just ha sex. he lasted two minutes. i told him to leave because i had class
isnt today saturday?
I don't get why Lindsay Lohan doesn't just blame her bad behavior on her twin sister from the Parent Trap. I mean nobodys seen her since.
normally i'm against accepting campers on facebook but this one saw me giving head to another counselor and didn't say shit about it to my boss so i feel like shes earned the right to look at my sloppy drunk pictures
I walked into his living room and saw him watching the play-offs while eating tomato paste out of the can with a bottle of wine. I'm telling you to stop talking to him. now.
I like your house better though. Cause it has febreeze and lube.
I don't think you have any idea how kinky that sounds.
there is a baby dancing on the table amidst the smoke of multiple cigarettes. i want to trade lives with that baby.
He told me that he wanted to break up with his girl friend but only after we had sex, only for him to make sure I'm worth it..
I haven't seen any of my friends sober in months. We have classes together.
Drunk walkin through police station. America
Top reasons to NOT leave jessica to her own devices : 1. Drinking becomes a competitive sport ( in which she is the only one competing) 2.big girl words= no worky 3. Whiskey refuses to be a good friend (as much as she insists ). 4. Waking up at six a.m. still in her swim suit is super awkward. 5. It isn't a fun game to figure out which person she gave her number to and 6. Yesterdays eyeliner doesn't look good today.
His penis has been a bonding mechanism beyond comparison.
He's practically not my boyfriend anymore. So let's go get some glitter, balloons, alcohol and forget this night ever happened.
I smell like lime and condoms and I really want a waffle. Fuk
he keeps various drugs in his kitchen cupboard like groceries. that is my new life goal as an adult.
Randomize