In line at the arbys drive thru on foot. Legendary.
Your brother just successfully got half the bar mostly naked
Forgot that I saved my paper as "Eat Shit Edwards" and e-mailed it because I missed class. I'm sure Prof. Edwards will be delighted when she gets it. I don't anticipate a passing grade.
Question: Is it too early to claim April Fools on the text "can we do some lines before the concert" that I accidentally sent Mom?
Fuck. These are the symptoms I had when I was pregnant. This could be bad.
Dude. I'm busy doing PR for America. FOR AMERICA. Europeans think we can't handle liquor.
We spent a good 10 minutes in the morning looking for my clothes. I ended up taking the bus home in my 6inch heels and his baggy t-shirt. The bus was filled with kids... one of them whistled at me.
Just called my dad drunk from bed to ask for bacon.. my niece texted me when it was ready.. i'm never moving out
I'm toasting stale bread and thinking of you
Is that a sex thing?
I mean I kinda plunged vagina first into my last relationship
Yeah probably not. I have a hair appt, a gun class, and hopefully a boy to fuck. I'm booked.
Dude, naked camping ALWAYS takes precedence. I would skip my own funeral to go naked camping.
Its 9 am & i've been cleaning for 6 hours now with occasional crying bursts and two cocktails. Adulting 101.
Just once, can I please come back to a room that doesn't smell like beer and cum?
If you left your bike out in front, I just watched some dude steal it.
Randomize
