so i completely puked my brains out. a lot. he held me up so i could brush my teeth. then we proceeded to hook up for the next four hours.
he's a keeper
do you know your status is "goal for vegas: hook up with a girl AND a boy"?
and THATS why i'm not adding my mom on facebook
Ha Ha the cop that just pulled me over would like me to tell you hi!
Awww. A guy on the train just took his coat off so his girlfriend could throw up into it. Who says chivalry is dead?
we need a dd. For wednesday. At lunch. What are we doing with our lives?
succeeding
No, not at all. Pulling a condom out of your vag at 2pm is NOTHING like finding $10 in your winter coat. Stop trying to make me feel better.
Home. Hour long discussion with mom. Very frightened. Eating a sausage. Don't remember making it. Confused.
You tried to initiate "Occupy McDonald's" when the cashier didn't give you enough ketchup.
is year to celebrate how much I love you, I made a mosaic of your penis with conversation hearts. it's in your mailbox.\n\nHAPPY VALENTINE'S DAY TO YOU
I think it may of been me pulling down my pants is why she walked away.
I left my coke in the bird nest in the bathroom stall last night but I found it nest and all in my purse I love morning suprises
I'm sitting here with a heating pad and a fan on me eating snow caps off of my boobs
So that guy from plenty of fish has a lightning bolt tattooed on his face. I kinda feel like I HAVE to sleep with him now.
I TAUGHT HER CAT TO SIT. CATS DON'T FUCKING SIT ON COMMAND. BUT THIS ONE DID!
It's basically my crowning achievement.
I left my Bacardi and dignity in your freezer. Will come get it later.
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