So I just did the walk of shame at dunkin... A lady told me me I was really dressed up and I told her I was going to a luncheon.
It's like she bought one bad life decision and got one free
4 feet of snow. teaching the cats how to snow swim. throwing them off the porch and seeing what happens.
My walk of shame was far more interesting today. He's moving and was cleaning out his apartment, so not only was I carrying my clothes, I also walked away with 4 bottles of cheap wine and a jar of ragu.
Escaped ambulance. Meet me at your apartment.
So recap time do u remember biting that girls hand?
Fuck these runners passing me on campus as I'm waking to dinner. With my huggie. With flavored vodka and rum. Aka yum
Gross! What the hell is that?!?
It's quite clearly a man posing erotically with multiple packages of bacon.
He doesn't deserve you. Your ass looks 8 times better than his face ever will. Wanna order pizza and watch porn?
So he got the TA job but i told him its not official until we have a quickie on his desk. He offered to break into his office. He doesnt start until this fall.
Nothing says "Hello, Adulthood!" quite like receiving a dick photo at 11AM from a guy you haven't heard from since fifth grade.
He kept saying I needed to go to the hospital and it just made me want to call him a pussy so I went to bed
Hold on, I'm taking nudes in a blanket fort right now
Like how do you live your life and have never made a grilled cheese? The audacity of some people
Just so we're clear, drunk and naked is not appropriate attire for Thanksgiving. Do it this year and Grandma will ban you for life.
Randomize