Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
found some acid from a couple months ago while looking through christmas lights. Looks like santa came early this year.
Let's make jello shots for tomorrow
What's going on tomorrow?
Nothing, it's Wednesday
I woke up exactly where I passed out... on top of him yet he somehow put his pants back on
I only saw you for about 5 min, but you were rambling about how not even the whiskey could make you fight the skeleton guards.
Now I get the fucking shakes every time I hear I'm Sexy And I Know It. Thanks, Captain Morgan.
This is America. Deny every slut accusation or own up to it
I can't wet the bed. That was the old me. I'm grown
Oh my god
I didn't realize how trashy of a night we had.
Welllll, you did eat a cherry out of my pussy. So I think that classes it up a little.
to answer your questions bluetooth, 30ft, like a tampon, ask her, her idea, got tired of trying to find her in crowed clubs
The crowd is chanting "we want sex!" There's a man dressed as bacon. That is all
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
He and I didn't so much date, as watch cartoons and go down on each other.
Well, I could just slap my dick to my phone and see what it says
Last night was a sign that I need to stop sleeping with any girl that can quote the mighty ducks
Specially the ones that look like Goldberg
Randomize
