i was unsuccessful, further solidifying for me that girls should not masturbate.
It wasn't awkward until he started humming the Rocky theme song in the middle of fucking
why is it that no matter what your novelty license plate says it always screams "im a huge tool"?
How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
surprisingly enough, it isn't that uncomfortable to have sex with a heart monitor on
Divorce is final. Doing tequila shots at 1 in the afternoon.
I like to think of them as justice herpes. She cheats on me and gets more than she bargained for.
True bitches know their best friends favorite Boones Farm flavor.
She just locked herself in the bedroom with an unopened bottle of wine and a steak knife. Unfortunately for her fingers, I stopped giving a fuck two hours ago.
Next time she asks for a ride to her "cousins" house and it turns out to be a booty call we're charging her for each mile.
Heard you had a bad day. I have vodka, chocolate and my dick here ready to put a smile back on your face.
You must be buzzed on Miller Lite.. Zen master advice is flowing
It's only just- an eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth, a nude for a nude
Tell him you want to lick his face. Didn't work for me but might turn out better for you idk
dont know what thebfuxk is in rhat shit, but dont lemme have antmore
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