did you know you can prarie-dog a fart??
so while we were having sex, he stuck it in my but, and when he finished he goes next time can we have anal. i don't know if that means im tight or my butt hole is loose, i choose to think the first one
Goddamn it, are you fucking her sister?
did you know it's going to storm tonight?
You bitch. At least tell Laura she's a better kisser.
I just found a beer pong ball in my mail box. I think its a sign
That's ok. I found a crab leg in my bed and have no pants on.
dude I heard her through my door. She sounded like you were holding her head under water and they letting her up for air. I recorded that shit
My grandma just told me that she sharted, no I am not having fun in El Paso.
I really hope our interview with channel 6 last night doesn't air or else my parents are gona get a first hand look at my alcohol problem
i just added no after every hockey player in my phone..
Did you get the "i have a yeast infection from that wet frat bathroom floor" text?
THEY'RE. IN. YOUR. BED. THEY RANDOMLY SHOW UP. AND GET IN YOUR BED.
I love you more with every blowjob.
You should write for Hallmark.
How proud should I be that I googled "dildo with wheels" and actually got the result I wanted?
When I get off work and you're not around to hang out with all I do is lay around in my underwear and eat potatoes.
She said "Im going to hug you" tried to give me a hickey then said her life sucks and started to cry.
Randomize
