Can you still call it a wet dream if sandwiches were involved?
I sold 10 pepperonis for 5 dollars last night....i fucking love drunk people
I'm one shot of soco 100 away from fucking a mailbox
Apparently in gay bars the restroom signs are just a formality. Its a free for all in there
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
he pulled a $400 bottle of champagne out of the back part of his toiled and I was ready to blow him then and there
I am still STD free so as far as I am concerned I never went to panama.
They make twin pack pregnancy tests for girls like us
Drinking a pint every 8 mins right now. Power hour aint shit.
Good luck
Trying doe a second hour and I.cant open my eyes
Gross! What the hell is that?!?
It's quite clearly a man posing erotically with multiple packages of bacon.
Sorry I called bc I needed help peeing outside
But I did it
Didn't realize he fucked me in a bed a dog is always in until my face swelled two sizes and I had hives all over my body. This is God's way of punishing me for having amazing sex.
Kids I used to babysit are now fuckable members of my social media periphery.. Getting old sucks
What am I thankful for..I figured out I can drink on antibiotics without getting sick thanks to the power of pot gummies
I got a 93 percent on my last mid term and I was drunk. Think of the possibilities if i were sober for the one thats tommorrow.
Randomize
