True true and the only thing that will burn more than the vodka we will consume is the shame in our loved one's eyes
And yet we make it a tradition to get inappropriately drunk at family functions. We amaze me.
At least it's not a funeral this time... I feel we're making improvements.
We saw some woman wearing leather pants. It was weird. We have decided to follow her on her travels to see where people go in leather pants in Michigan.
They should make a Rosetta Stone that allows men to understand what the fuck women are actually trying to say.
she keeps The Day After Pill in her bra... there is a God.
No one showed up yet so I smoked 4:20 on chatroulette with a naked chick..
But like now everytime I pee I just think... wow I had sex with him on this toilet.
side note. good thing you didn't come to drunk breakfast. we were judged by children.
Na Im fine, just need to un-grow this vagina I've developed
You took it upon yourself to rid the world of them, and by that I mean you dressed up as Batman and started kicking them in the shins.
We are going to need a water proof camera with a flash....exit routes....lots of booze.....and a tutu for good measure
You declared your undying love to a drag queen, then proceeded to puke into the poor man's purse.
Go to a building you've never been before and take a shit. It's marvelous
Can I chase this vodka with an onion?
He came inside and met my grandmother after we had sex in the driveway. I love that he has a van.
I just snorted sandwich everywhere.
I hope it smells nice :)
IT DOESN'T BECAUSE I HAVE MEAT COMING OUT OF MY NOSE, DAMNIT.
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