Sex don't cost a thang now that you can buy trojans with meal points.
I woke up fully clothed on top of my sheets and i didnt even pee myself..so proud.
I just saw a San Diego firetruck. No wonder they can't figure out how to fight wildfires if they get so fucking lost they end up in Nebraska.
Omg. In the pub, there's a guy shouting at the olympic channel 'yeah! Kill that motherfucker!' we're watching figure skating.
No, he's fine. He only wanted to know why there were traffic pylons in the living room and how the peanut butter got on the ceiling.
I know, but I was really high and I felt like a failure dragon because I could only blow smoke, no fire.
I jerked him off and then punched him in the face for no reason. Typical evening drinking Sailor Jerry's.
We're like Siamese twins, but joined at the genitals.
the last thing i remember was the norwegian kid tacking a bag of wine to the ceiling, then boom! shower drain.
Last night was good. Things got bad when I found a sledge hammer.
Well my unnaturally hairy chest finally came in handy. It took at least an hour to shave the american flag into my chest but I definitely went America all over that party
we're in NC now and so far we've smoked a blunt in every state with the exception of Tennessee which we accidentally went to
Just woke up with only a scarf and my uggs on. i hate partying naked in winter.
its like i get a dick upgrade with every new guy i screw, at this rate i'm scared to see my next one
Yeah. I got a Tetnus shot then partied like it was 1999.
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