Sex don't cost a thang now that you can buy trojans with meal points.
: I need to find myself a plastic surgeon husband so i can get boobs.
but u need boobs to get one in the first place.
Should I have kids to fix a relationship??
you know how they say when you die, your whole life flashed before you? well do you get to see what happened all the nights you blacked out?
she said shes getting her period tomorrow so she wants to have sex now. i didnt object. it would have been heartless.
ofcourse you didnt.
Was this before, or after you took my brand new bag of shredded cheese, and "Made it rain"?
Imagine the time you most wanted to kill yourself. Now add a room full of jail bait and no booze. Multiply that by a million.
He said he had a problem he needed to take care of before we got omelets and then showed me his erection.
after last halloween when i met that 26yr old guy from russia who was hot until we madeout and he became obsessed with touching my forehead after the ecstasy he did and then tried to sell me pills from an m&m mini container, i think im staying away from parties downtown
all law school has taught me so far is how to fart quietly during lectures and how to out-argue the ice cream guy when he screws me out of extra toppings.
Alright fuck it. Alcoholic Jamie is back and here to stay.
My legs have surpassed "hairy" and entered the territory of "furry". Maybe I should just suck it up and shave already
No now I'm curious!
No, and she still hasn't answered me...I get a whole series of text messages about Guatemalan anal bleaching but no fucking answer to my question.
After a beer I realize now I may have shared too much about my obsession with ghosts with my therapist this morning.
BITCH IT IS YOUR BIRTHDAY AND I'M STARTING ON A FISHBOWL OF LIQUOR WITHOUT YOU
I read that out. Group response is "Katie is hard as fuck."
WITH MOTHERFUCKING MONKEY MITTENS
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