I'm gonna write a book, Things that go bump in the night: The story of Katelyn. Chapter one, my roommate is a dumb whore.
hahhahahha. mid doggie-style, i faked an asthma attack. the sex was that bad
woke up in my one night stand's bed and barfed all over her floor. she came back from the bathroom, looked at the vomit, looked at me and said "normally i'd tell you to clean it and get the fuck out, but i remember the sex was good, so i'll let it go." Score.
I forget the details, but I'm told that I drunkenly stalked him around floor yelling obscure Jewish laws at him
she puked as i came inside her. that has to mean something.
You have to wear the princess leia gold bikini every Sunday
Hindsight is 20/20. Or a bladder infection.
Yeah like 200 white people came and they are playing that one Biggie Smalls song everyone knows.
You threw an open can of pop at me while I was lying on the floor babbling and drooling about how I need to be alone forever, me and my leaking face.
So the night ended when we tried making fireworks out of gunpowder and oregano. You can figure out how that went.
Pictures of drunk me in a bike helmet are like McDonald's collectible toys. There's sooo many, but NO ONE has seen all of them.
Had sex in a blanket fort. How was your weekend?
So who left their underwear on a lamppost in my aunt's backyard
Is using La Croix as a mixer for vodka a legit way to reach my daily water consumption?
Wait, you met him on Onlyfans? The guy from last night? Which one of you is the fan?
Because one of you banged your stalker
Randomize
