My brain says no but my pants say off.
Dude, everyone in your family has slept with that girl. Her vagina is like the Hindu version of a Bar Mitzvah.
i was calling myself "cat the lion" and tried eating the computer mouse because i thought it was "my prey"
I've been watching anime, masturbating and eating nutella for three days. I hope she never comes back.
some dude is stoned out of his mind in my calc class. just shouted that the teacher was a genius cause he got rid of so many numbers
I found his retainer in my ass crack. It smells like shame.
Well since its impossible for me to swallow a pill this big I'm making wine slushies out of them
If we go out with the 22/23 year olds we should make t a double date. I don't want to endure the judging looks of the public as I rob the cradle alone.
Why am I wearing a dog collar
Only way we could keep you from running in to traffic.
Well she made a 15 year old cry, the grandmother did an ice luge and I woke up to the sound of sex moans
He kept screaming "I am the thunder!" when he was riding me.
Mmm vodka always tastes better when i know i have work at 8am
Everyone needs to leave the house so I can use the good vibrator without being judged.
Dude. Craziest ride ever. I was convinced that the bus was an airplane. There were clouds when I looked out the window. I got really upset every time the bus turned because airplanes shouldn't turn.
I told him. He hasn't said anything. Crying and holding cats is probably what is happening.
Randomize