Last night this chick queefed when I was going down on her. Thinking if you! xo
She was so high she ate a little piece of weed off her pants and thought it was food.
so we'll all just be running around naked, basically. and high.
I love how its suddenly "not all about sex" now that he can't get it up
All I want for christmas is my sobriety back.
My dad just passed me a joint.. this is a turning point in my life.
So my girlfriend used a threesome to tell me she wanted to leave me for a girl... Not entirely sure how I should feel about that.
I already banned bobbing for apples. While drunk that's just drowning near fruit.
People were staring and acting all judgmental and offended... Like they've never seen anyone breastfeed in a liquor store.
Wearing the same clothes for three days in a row and eating an entire two pound bag of jelly beans really has a way of making a person rethink their life...
2:34, make a wish! I wish I wasn't on acid at Planned Parenthood. What's yours?
Sorry I twat blocked you earlier I didn't know Sam was over. But, my house my rules, I don't have to knock before I enter. I did see naked butts and smelt "Sex Stank" in the air, we're going to have to set some ground rules when I get home. Hugs and kisses..Mom
I feel like I may be the only person who can say they crutched their walk of shame. past the secret service.
1) Woke up alone with my bathing suit on inside out spooning an empty bottle of Jack, 2) get the fuck on to my level 3) please pick me up and bring a stuffed pony, some Oreo's and my pride...
I admire the fact that you replicated my apartment on the roof but I would appreciate it more if you would move all my stuff off the roof and back into my apartment.
Randomize