he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
I hope i woe up in your car, or else i stole someone elses and slept in the back seat
the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
you sat up and said "i'm the worst kind of roommate, the drunk kind"
I could've eaten a live cat and wouldn't remember it today. That level of drunk.
It's such a good feeling to send those "I'm not in jail" texts on Sunday morning
I caught them hiding behind a car trying to have sex.
Sorry I didn't take you making out with him all night as a hint you wanted nothing to do with him...
It wasn't like a party or anything. They played PlayStation and talked about sports. Then I threw up on his porch.
They better not charge my debit card for what you peed on.
all i remember was her shitting herself and asking me to call her parents.....i so didn't. when i woke up she was gone and left a note saying "we will be lovers forever"
I can give you five reasons its your baby
and I can give you 10 reasons it's not, but I'm busy so I'll just go with you have the wrong number. And also I'm a straight girl.
His fucking flight got canceled because the president stopped at the airport he was flying out of... Fuckin Obama literally just cock blocked me
Single lady's Saturday night: eat doritos, masturbate, eat more doritos. Do shot of Jager. Repeat until desired result is achieved.
hey, so i dont know your name. but im guessing we had sex last night. seeing that you're in my phone as "had sex time thursty thursday guy"
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