How am I a tease?
Dude you flashed me ur vagina and walked away.
ONLY PART OF IT.
i mean, we fucked on the futon in the garage where his band practices. pretty sure im now obligated to like his band on facebook.
made the entire pub sing the british national anthem, puked, rallied, then peed in a telephone booth and have pictures to prove it, taking tourism to another level since 2012.
My only regret is that I have but one penis to give to your vagina.
My month off booze swimsuit season diet plan is working well. Plus I'm learning so much about my house, did you know a girl named Meagan lives here?
nothing says "functioning mature adult" like sneaking beer out of your mom's fridge in a lunchbox
If we laid all the dicks that's have been inside of us end to end it would be as tall as 4 story building. 40 feet of dicks.
WHY DOES HE HAVE TO CALL WHEN I'M MASTURBATING?! This time I'm really pissed. It's like he knows he's depriving me of orgasms.
who's idea was it to start the NCAA tournament less than a week after St. Patrick's day? My liver needs time to recover for things like this.
What the hell man, you basically stole my girlfriend with a bucket of KFC.
He started saying the pledge of allegiance so his boner would go down. Merica.
I CLEANED MY BATHROOM FOR YOU!! betrayal
Hi I'm on my way to give you multiple screaming orgasms and Easter candy
We've been here for 9 days, so of course I am high at my in-laws' house.
I refuse to take any type of advice let alone love advice from a motherfucker who is missing 3 fingers from a Fucked up masturbating accident.
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