Just wanted to let you know that if you need my services as a male dancer for his birthday, let me kno so I can clear my schedule
Why does it always sting when I'm breaking the seal taking a piss?
b/c u have herpes
No i said "always", not "since 2003" Asshole.
I knocked on some strangers door, you didn't have to give me a fake hotel room number
you had "tips for anal sex" in your google search history this morning. how was your sunday night?
He was a bulldog and my face was like rare meat. Never again with the drunken ones.
BTW. If I show up really drunk and dressed a cowboy, don't be alarmed
It's like the bermuda triangle of cat puke
Omg. Some dude is jacking off in Kelly's bathroom.
Just for future reference, me asking if you're free, followed by a winking face is not my way of suggesting a tandem bike ride.
You got me so high that I almost couldn't leave my house for a bar because there was nothing to lean against on the way there
Yeah, I'm just gonna try to repress that and remember him for his big dick and perfect jawline.
Just in case you blacked out, we had sex, you came in me, we need plan B, we fell off your top bunk, broke your roommates chair, i still like you, but i'm in pain and am going to bed
So I'm trying to figure out how to talk my boss into allowing pajama day once a week. Any ideas?
He was tied up with the electrical tape and force fed wine from a box. It was never going to end well.
I love friends. Friendship is wonderful. I wish the rain was my friend
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