i just told my boss to make it rain at camelot later...what is wrong with me?
Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters
I can be that talented
okay, this is the fifth time he asked if it was in yet. maybe i shouldn't have dated a blind guy.
We are like the golden girls with less cheesecake and more drugs.
She rolled a blunt with one hand...and instantly I had a boner, I'm going to marry this girl.
I need someone to get my backpack from the bar before class tomorrow. I have to give my students their papers back.
Two penises later: I might be straighter than I think.
his dick makes me think maybe a monogamous relationship forever is possible.
He was dressed as ron burgundy and his pickup line was "dont worry, i wont make you jump in a bear pit."
do you remember when we thought we were both knocked up by the same guy like two days apart and would have half twins? Thats a best friend moment.
I like literally had a visual image of his penis going into your soul
Literally had to stick my hands in my pants and hold my butt cheeks together while driving
Dudes don't just lick butts of chicks they're not into.
I've literally NEVER been on a date or gotten through one episode of netflix without having sex like I JUST WANT TO WATCH TRUE DETECTIVE
Is it weird to befriend your older alcoholic landlords?
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