i literally would have sex with every single person on this girls wall, but not her
Following a car with a GPS. We don't know where he's going, but he probably has a better idea of where we're going than we do. Also, very high.
You guys seriously fuck to bieber? That's embarrassing...
look for us when you get to the club. we're the guys wearing snorkels.
She thinks she's a fairy, dude. A real fucking fairy with wings and shit.
I can't get over how you look like his sister and he wants to fuck you.
Friends don't let friends put redi whip in their wine
Well I had to use a seat cushion at Soul Cycle today so, yeah, I'd say the sex was good
the guy working the counter at the liquor store noticed i got my haircut and said it was pretty.....
Just keep me informed about your plans. That way i can figure out places to go and if i need to shave my balls
Just watched someone fail a field sobriety test. Miserably. At 4:50p. I think it's my future husband
God bless him
You just kept yelling GET YOUR SKATES ON, BITCHES. WE'RE GOING STREAKING.
Do you think he’ll fall in love with me if I tell him I have a nickname for his penis
Saddle up bitches, we're going to an orgy.
Omfg I just White Claw shamed a Girl Scout Cookie mom and I feel SO BAD.
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