You should see what I'm doing to your stuffed animals
One thing i hate about playoff baseball: George Lopez
There's people holding up abortion signs everywhere. I guess the people of Florida want you to remember you fucked up on Spring Break.
By the end of the cruise, there was literally nothing in our room he hadn't peed on.
Can you do me a favor and fuck someone with a car so I can get a ride home?
cheese fries, coffee, with a side of dry heaving in the bathroom at the diner on campus at 5am. never felt better.
Three people drank on "never have I had sex in a tractor." Iowa at its best?
You take your time. Wallowing in last nights filth is the best way to get over a hangover
the parade is in 5 days. put your big boy pants on and come to beer training. time to build your tolerance. i can't have you passing out in a bush with a cape on again this year.
her dad gauges his nipple piercings.
Okay so how much boob would you consider inappropriate for smart casual?
He dared you to draw a map of the USA on your wall in mustard. You drew something that vaguely resembled a velociraptor eating Oklahoma, got embarrassed because you forgot how to spell America, then hid out in the coat closet until everybody left.
So now I know what having sex while surrounded by chickens feels like.
I told him I just left the convent and really wanted a man. He fell for it. Sure beats telling him I'm a nympho stalker that followed him to the bar when I saw his beard.
That dick was not the dick of a twenty year old
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