I'm convinced that Kathy Griffin and Andy Dick are the same person...
i just found a cheeto on my floor and ate it. i might still be drunk.
Get your damn GED now that you are harvesting a child in her belly
What is a GED?
I sent out a mass text that said "margaritas for Jesus?" and nobody responded, worst Easter ever.
My last google search last night was 'vodka swimming pool'.
I'm taking it from the chunk of pizza I just pulled out my hair that we ate pizza last night?
I honestly think she should have her own reality show called "Lowering the Bar" and it consists of a camera crew following her from Bar to bar hooking up with unsuspecting drunk attractive men.
Getting drunk and falling down, isnt the best way to describe your hobbies, to your new co-workers.
Found a phone out last night at the bar. EPIC homemade porn vids on it!
She licked my face when I was on the phone with a customer and I just laughed. Im not sure if thats good or bad
What kind of present accurately says to my male suitemate "I'm sorry that I accidentally flashed you my vagina while I was super drunk"?
So, my love of dick may have landed me in a cult. On the bright side, I now have a discount at Spencer's.
Was it cause you feel bad for the ridiculousness my vagina goes through because same
All I want to do is drink an excessive amount of free alcohol bought from strange men, while taking frequent trips to the bathroom to snort an assortment of illicit drugs off dirty toilet seats. Break cannot get here quick enough...
fyi: first time in five days i havent washed my birth control down with liquor. when are we going out tonight?
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