i just got a UPS package from a name and address i dont know, with one of my thongs in it. no recollection.
I am going to be in the room whjen you have your first child and spit on its face before its even all the way out of you.
I was under the impression that I sent actual words. turns out it was a series of letters and question marks on a side note we still had sex
We are two peas in an std pod
For the first time ever I'll be using my lunch break to pass out cold on my desk. We've gotta stop having these late night drinking things on Sundays
I feel like despite his sleaziness I could be friends with this man. he just sent me a picture of his dog's balls.
"Friendship bread", "how to get period stains out of cement", and "elephant bereavement" are all in my recent google history. Whatever shit that was last night really did me in...
He looked at me and just said "moist". The entire party shut down from uncomfortableness. He is an anti-party wizard.
You're the reason why I want to be a better drunk
hooking up with him was much more fun when i knew in the back of mind we'd get in some sort of trouble for it
yesterday pre dick pic he said "no disrespect to your situation but i cant wait to get ahold of you again in the future" is this how people network??
Orientation leader success, day 1: incoming freshman just ate out his first sorority girl. I gave him a 7/10.
I got to walk around for eight hours wearing power armor and acting camp. No way I wouldn't love it.
It was a tough decision either lay in bed or go to work and lay in the stockroom
She turned off her phone alarm (which was the theme song to Star Wars) and then asked me if I wanted a blow job before she went...of course I am going to see her again.
Randomize
